Some people believe that if you cannot see an illness, than it isn’t there. I have heard this many times growing up. Some say it if all for attention, some say it is in your head, some say ‘you’re a teen life sucks, get over it.’ What most people don’t understand is that it’s none of those. There are illnesses that truly hurt people. Maybe not that others can see but on the inside. If not properly treated, the illness can lead to someone hurting themselves or others.
Although I did not know how, growing up, I knew I was different. I didn’t understand that other kids my age did not feel the same way I did, feelings like sorrow, hurt, no energy, disconnected, and unworthy. Basically I hated myself and who I was. I felt sorry for myself, being the way I was, was my fault. I had felt that way my whole life. I didn’t realize that the feeling I had where not normal. Do to these feelings, I often let people run over and use me. As a pre-teen I was bullied, one time actually being pushed in front of a moving bus.
At the age of thirteen, I went into talk therapy, for a short time. Than my Psychologist recommended that I went to see a Psychiatrist. He then told me that I had major depression. Major Depression is a mental disorder characterized by an all-encompassing low mood accompanied by low self-esteem, and by loss of interest or pleasure in normally enjoyable activities. I was then prescribed Lexapro and Seroquel. First in a very low dose, and increased properly, to where it worked best for me. Lexapro is an antidepressant in a group of drugs called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). SSRIs ease depression by affecting chemical messengers (neurotransmitters) used to communicate between brain cells. SSRIs block the reabsorption (reuptake) of the neurotransmitter serotonin in the brain. Changing the balance of serotonin seems to help brain cells send and receive chemical messages, which in turn boosts mood. SSRIs are called selective because they seem to primarily affect serotonin, not other neurotransmitters. Seroquel is an antipsychotic medication. It is not entirely known how it works in the treatment; however, it is known that the medication blocks or lessens the effects of several chemicals in the brain. These chemicals (such as dopamine and serotonin) may be elevated in people, lessening the effects of depression. Together, these medications changed my world.
For the first time in my life I felt happiness. It did not just happen at once. It took several months, for the medication to be properly regulated and for things to come into perspective. I had realized that people would run over me because I had low self-esteem. My self-esteem grew; I started standing up for myself when things were not right. I could see what I wanted for my future; I began to like school, looked forward to going to college, no longer considered suicide, and become my own person. I grew into the person I am today.
The truth is Major Depression is a very real illness. Some may not know why they feel the way they do, and some might. It affects millions of people every minute, of every day. Major Depression is not something that will ever go away. Think twice before you bully or are rude to someone; you never know what’s going on inside.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Posted by SuperWoman at 10:37 AM